Text Analysis 1 (Student’s draft)

In the short story “Seeing people off” the author [who’s the author?] reveals how people try to change their life, because sometimes they have an incapacity of expressing their feelings in difficult moments of life [difficult to understand what you actually wanted to say]. At the beginning Le Ros was an actor , but he wasn’t so successful . We can see that this didn’t stop him to find another job. He tried to earn his own living seeing people off. That is why he sees off that young lady [which one] or others person who needs this. The narrator likes his job and wanted [sequence of tenses] some courses to learn how to do this. He will do his best to become sometimes like his friend an friendly . They  like to be a part of the society [I don’t understadnd what you wanted to say]

In this story we can find two types of characters :

*major – the narrator and  Hubert Le Ros

*minor – the American girl and the narrator’s friend.

The narrator is a kind man , because he offered money to Le Ros knowing that it can be never returned to him. He is sociable because of the desire to speak and make new friends. The narrator is tactful and polite.

Hubert Le Ros is one of the most magnetic person, because he has success all the time. He is talented, because he began his career like an actor [does this prove that he’s talented?]. Le Ros is opened to the society, to the people all the time.

The American girl is friendly and likes to make new friends in another country. She is sociable and is ready to pay money for somebody who will help her.
The narrator’s friend is stiff and self-conscious. Sometimes he likes to keep silence or doesn’t find the right words.

I like this story because it is based on the real life. For example if I go to another country I would like to have there somebody who will meet me and will see me off. This is a kind of privilage therefore you need to pay money for this. [really?]

A bit incoherent, I’m afraid 🙂

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4 Responses to Text Analysis 1 (Student’s draft)

  1. Aizhan says:

    This you call a text analysis?

    • vickycondrat says:

      This blog was created, among others, to interact with my students. Actually, this is the first draft of my student’s text analysis. As you notice, there are mistakes highlighted which the student was supposed to take into consideration while rewriting her analysis. In addition, there were two primary factors to be taken into consideration, such as: (1) the student’s level of linguistic proficiency, and (2) the text she is expected to produce at this level. The idea was that everybody could leave their comment to help improve their writing. It was not thought as a database of qualitative text analyses!

      Taking all this into consideration, you can’t expect a beginner to produce accurate analyses. I would also like to know what exactly you call a text analysis. However, I would recommend for the future to revise the way you ask questions in English: Is THIS the correct way of asking a question? Word order in English is still important 🙂 Good luck!

      • Aizhan says:

        Sorry if I hurt you. Actually with this incorrect question I was trying to express my emotions – I thought it was made by somebody else not a student . Can I use your student’s text analysis for my students to improve it? Sorry again.
        If you are a teacher of English I would like to join you.
        Aizhan, English teacher from Kazakhstan

      • vickycondrat says:

        No hard feelings. I’m aware that many people visiting this blog actually think that these are genuine text analyses. They are not.

        Definitely you can use them for your pedagogical goals.
        I think I have to think of a way to rename them so that there are no more misunderstandings in the future 🙂
        All the best, Aizhan 🙂

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